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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29588271">The End Of A Dream</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dojaefairy/pseuds/dojaefairy'>dojaefairy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Attempted Murder, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Friendship, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Smut, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:48:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,436</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29588271</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dojaefairy/pseuds/dojaefairy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Killing Me Softly.</p><p>It took Doyoung years to finally build up the courage to confess to Jaehyun, but Jungwoo was the obstacle he had never seen coming.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Jungwoo (one-sided)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The End Of A Dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was asked a few times for a sequel to Killing Me Softly, so here it is! It might be quite an unexpected sequel plot-wise, but I'm really happy of how it turned out, so I hope you'll like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It doesn’t take Doyoung long to realize he’s in love with Jaehyun. Out of all of the other teenagers training to potentially debut in a near future, Jaehyun is the one who catches his eye the most. Well, he’s befriended other people, of course, and he’s got trouble getting along with some others, but there’s something about Jaehyun that leaves him speechless.</p><p>Doyoung has had crushes before, but this time it hits him like a truck and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. It’s already hard enough to balance school work with his training, he’s painfully aware that he doesn’t have the luxury of having feelings for a fellow trainee. Moreover, he can’t risk his or Jaehyun’s future, not now – and probably not ever, so he makes the difficult decision to move on.</p><p>Except he doesn’t. He’s surprised, because he’s usually very determined once he’s made a decision. But this time, his heart and mind refuse to listen, and Jaehyun’s smile and lingering touch on his arm when they’re perfecting their dance routines only intensify his feelings for him. More than once, Doyoung’s eyes widen a little as Jaehyun leans in closer, laughing at whatever joke or funny face he accidentally made, and he wonders how it’d feel to lean in as well to kiss Jaehyun on the lips.</p><p>Taeyong sends him knowing glances when Jaehyun leaves his side to go joke with Johnny and Mark, and Doyoung hates that his best friend can read him like an open book despite the fact that they’ve never discussed Doyoung’s crush on Jaehyun.</p><p>“You’re not too obvious,” Taeyong reassures him one summer night as they’re having ice cream together, just the two of them. “I just know you too well.”</p><p>Doyoung bites down on his ice cream, the cold making him wince and hurting his gums, but at least preventing him from telling Taeyong to shut up.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“What kind of person is your ideal type?”</p><p>Doyoung chokes at Johnny’s question. He didn’t think a mere night out at the park with other trainees would end up in this kind of conversations. He wipes his mouth, grimacing because he got juice on his sweater, and he fetches a tissue in his pants pocket to clean his face and neck. Around him, Taeyong blushed, similarly to Jaehyun, while Yuta is just laughing and Taeil shaking his head.</p><p>“What kind of question is that?” Taeil tells Johnny, arching an eyebrow.</p><p>“Aw, c’mon, don’t tell me you’ve never had feelings for someone!” Johnny teases the elder, who shrugs.</p><p>“Maybe, maybe not,” Taeil says, not elaborating further – which makes Johnny whine.</p><p>On Doyoung’s left, Taeyong is shifting uncomfortably, which surprises Doyoung. He establishes eye contact with his best friend in a silent question, and when Taeyong’s eyes briefly glance towards Yuta, Doyoung’s own widen. Oh, so Taeyong likes Yuta? That’s interesting. He knew Taeyong liked men, similarly to him, but he didn’t know he also had feelings for another trainee.</p><p>“Taeil’s no fun, keeping all of his secrets to himself,” Johnny eventually gives up.</p><p>Taeil’s smug expression makes Doyoung laugh. They all know how much Taeil loves teasing Johnny by not giving in to his requests openly, but when no one’s around, it’s another story. Doyoung hasn’t asked Taeil nor Johnny for details about their relationship because he’s not close enough with them but he’s seen them hold hands and kiss (?) sometimes, so… but anyway, Taeil cares for all of them so much and he’s such a loving person, and Doyoung thinks they’re really lucky to have him around.</p><p>“Then maybe Jaehyun?” Johnny adds, looking at the younger who flushes when his name gets called.</p><p>“I don’t particularly have a type,” Jaehyun stutters, looking down to avoid all the eyes on him, “just the usual, you know? Someone nice with whom I’d get along and all.”</p><p>Doyoung holds back a disappointed sigh. That’s so vague that it could be anyone. Then again, it’s not like Doyoung expected Jaehyun to say “someone tall with a nice voice and who has bunny like features”. It’s night time and Doyoung’s trying to relax, he’s allowed to dream a little and imagine Jaehyun liking him back.</p><p>“I like muscled men”, Yuta drops out of nowhere, and while he’s trying to play it cool, Doyoung can tell he’s a little tense.</p><p>While it’s no secret there’s quite a few homosexual leaning people in their field, it’s not like they can be too open about their preferences as trainees. Yuta bites his lower lip after his confession, because no one has said anything yet – until Johnny speaks up.</p><p>“Finally, an answer that’s not boring! Thank you Yuta, you’re the real MVP tonight!”</p><p>Yuta flushes and hits Johnny’s arm, telling him he’s being too over-dramatic. Doyoung lets out a sigh of relief, and glances as Taeyong, who’s deflated. Doyoung does not need to have any mind-reading skills to know what’s going on through Taeyong’s mind, it’s obvious he’s disappointed.</p><p>Doyoung wonders if there’s any way he could make Yuta say something that fits Taeyong’s appearance or personality, because seeing Taeyong being all sad hurts him. The only thing he comes up with is boring, but it’s worth a try.</p><p>“And besides that?” Doyoung asks Yuta, “surely you’re not solely into muscles?”</p><p>“Look at Doyoung being all invested,” Johnny jokes, and Doyoung tries to glare at him, but fails.</p><p>“Hm,” Yuta muses, “obviously I’d love to date someone with similar tastes to mine? Like, I feel like it’d be fun to listen to music or watch anime together. Maybe someone Korean so I can improve my Korean skills and in return I can teach him Japanese!”</p><p>“You’ve thought about this in detail,” Taeil comments with a small smile, “that’s cute.”</p><p>Doyoung glances at Taeyong again, who seems more hopeful. That makes Doyoung happy, and while it doesn’t mean that Yuta likes Taeyong back, at least it’s not like Taeyong has zero chance.</p><p> </p><p>The conversation about ideals types dies down after Johnny’s done explaining all the kinds of people he’s into, and as it’s getting quite late, they all agree to go back to their trainee dorms. Taeil, Johnny and Yuta go ahead after Taeyong tells them he needs to drop by the convenience store. Doyoung tells him he’s staying with him, not wanting Taeyong to go back on his own, and to his surprise, Jaehyun says he’ll stay as well.</p><p>That’s how Doyoung finds himself waiting for Taeyong in front of the store with his crush, and that’s when he realizes he’s seldom been alone with Jaehyun. But it doesn’t feel too weird. Jaehyun is staring at the dark streets, while Doyoung shifts his weight from one leg to the other.</p><p>“Yuta is so brave,” Jaehyun comments, but his voice is so low Doyoung has to focus to listen to him, “Johnny too.”</p><p>Doyoung sends him a confused look, and Jaehyun turns towards him with a sheepish smile.</p><p>“I mean, talking about liking men in front of everyone else like it’s no big deal. I feel like I’m too much of a coward to admit it so easily.”</p><p>The gears in Doyoung’s brain start working at maximum speed as he tries to understand Jaehyun’s words correctly. Did Jaehyun just come out to him?</p><p>“You, uh, like guys too?” Doyoung stutters, and Jaehyun breaks the eye contact, blushing.</p><p>“Yeah,” Jaehyun answers in a small voice, “I’m gay.”</p><p>There’s a short silence after which Jaehyun clears his throat and speaks up again.</p><p>“I hope that doesn’t make you uncomfortable.”</p><p>Doyoung doesn’t like the fear and the hurt in Jaehyun’s voice one bit, so he decides to be brave too. There’s no one else around, and they’re having a heart-to-heart conversation, so it’s now or never.</p><p>“Of course not,” Doyoung replies, “I’m gay too so, uh, I get it.”</p><p>Jaehyun’s head turns so fast it must hurt, Doyoung winces, and he sends him a shocked look.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Really,” Doyoung confirms, blushing a little.</p><p>Jaehyun’s reaction was kind of odd, Doyoung thinks to himself, but it probably doesn’t mean anything. Before either of them can add anything, Taeyong comes out of the store and sees them staring at each other. He quirks an eyebrow, and asks them if they’re okay.</p><p>“Yeah, all good,” Jaehyun chuckles, “sorry, I’m a little tired and my brain has trouble functioning properly.”</p><p>He sighs, and looks at Taeyong with an embarrassed smile.</p><p>“I don’t know why I find it so scary to come out to you guys, I guess it’s because I’m not used to people accepting me as who I am easily.”</p><p>Taeyong blinks owlishly, apparently having trouble understanding what Jaehyun is hinting at so suddenly. Doyoung decides to come to his best friend’s rescue before he starts overthinking and stops sleeping at night.</p><p>“Jaehyun’s like us,” he provides helpfully, “likes men and stuff.”</p><p>“Oh,” Taeyong says by reflex, “<em>oh</em>,” he repeats when he’s done digesting the information properly. “Cool. You don’t have to make it so complicated, I got worried for a second.”</p><p>“Sorry,” Jaehyun says, scratching his head.</p><p>Taeyong looks at Jaehyun and Doyoung, and lets out a fond sigh before he gestures for them to come closer. Intrigued, they do, and gasp at the same time as Taeyong lets his plastic bag fall to the ground to pull them into a hug.</p><p>“There, there,” Taeyong says, patting their backs the best he can considering their height difference, “we’re all doing great.”</p><p>He releases them pretty quickly, then he picks up his bag and starts walking towards the dorms like nothing happened.</p><p>“Let’s go?”</p><p>Doyoung and Jaehyun share a look, and nod. Even if it’s a little awkward for now, Doyoung hopes things will get better in the future.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As the years go on, Doyoung’s crush simply settles deep inside him and never leaves. He’s accepted that this is probably some kind of life-long condition by now, and while the thought hurts him, he thinks the only way for these feelings to leave would be for Jaehyun to either reject him or date someone else.</p><p>Just imagining Jaehyun touching another man gives him physical pain, but Doyoung knows that as long as he hasn’t even tried telling Jaehyun of his feelings, he’s got no right to feel jealous of Jaehyun’s potential future boyfriend.</p><p>“I want to move on,” he confesses several times to Taeyong, “but I can’t.”</p><p>“You don’t want to move on,” Taeyong corrects him gently, “you’re too attached to him. You know that unless you don’t face a proper rejection, you’ll never be able to move on.”</p><p>Doyoung doesn’t want to admit Taeyong is right, and that he’s always known these facts, so he merely settles for a grunt to end the discussion.</p><p> </p><p>While Doyoung has always had some kind of hope that Jaehyun would one day come to reciprocate his feelings, something seems to change between them at some point, fueling him with anticipation and making that distinctive weight at the bottom of his stomach appear whenever he’s with him.</p><p>Jaehyun is more open about his emotions with him, letting him see more easily his happiness, his frustration or his sadness. He grows more touchy, which is something Doyoung never realized he had missed dearly from their trainee days years ago. They eat together more often, and soon Jaehyun suggests to watch movies, dramas, animes and whatnot together. Doyoung obviously doesn’t refuse because he’d be a fool to say no to spending time with his crush, but he can’t help but wonder about the cause of that sudden change of behavior.</p><p>No one teases them about their sudden growing closeness, and for that Doyoung is thankful. It’s already complex enough to deal with both his idol and his private life, he doesn’t need additional remarks. Inevitably, his crush on Jaehyun grows more and more, fed by Jaehyun’s constant attention and affection, and Doyoung finds himself asking Taeyong several times if it’s obvious he’s hopelessly in love with Jaehyun.</p><p>“I’m afraid that it’s written all over my face whenever I look at him!” Doyoung whines, burying his face his in his hands.</p><p>“It isn’t,” Taeyong reassures him, “it really isn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>There’s also all the texting that happens between them now. While they texted each other pretty regularly before, now it’s become a daily occurrence. They start the day with a good morning text, then they text each other throughout the day whenever they have separate schedules, then finally at night, when they’re too lazy or tired to spend time with each other, they just text until it’s time for bed. Doyoung is pretty sure he’s never sent that many messages to anyone before, but he doesn’t mind.</p><p>One night, one of Jaehyun’s messages makes him blush, and he lets go of his phone to whine in his pillow. Taeyong, who’s playing on his Switch next to him on the bed, sends him a weird look.</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>Doyoung figures it’s best to show him the text that made him blush rather than to try explaining. Taeyong’s eyes quickly scan the conversation until they reach the bottom: the last message is by Jaehyun, and it reads “I’m so happy we’ve been getting closer, I’ve been wanting this for years”.</p><p>“Oh wow,” Taeyong says, “he really likes <em>likes</em> you.”</p><p>“Do you think so?” Doyoung asks, peeking through his fingers.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s pretty obvious,” Taeyong confirms.</p><p>“What should I answer? I’m glad we’ve become closer friends too?”</p><p>Taeyong blinks.</p><p>“Are you fucking stupid?”</p><p>Doyoung whines higher.</p><p>“You’ve had a crush on Jaehyun forever and the moment he flirts with you, you wanna friendzone him? The fuck?”</p><p>“Of course I don’t wanna friendzone him!” Doyoung protests, “I’m just not sure how to answer, I don’t want him to know I like him!”</p><p>Taeyong rubs his temples.</p><p>“Do you hear yourself? You’re not making any sense.”</p><p>Taeyong takes a deep breath, and sighs.</p><p>“Okay, let’s not panic.”</p><p>As soon as he pronounces those words, Jaehyun sends another message.</p><p> </p><p><em>Doyoung? I’m sorry if I sounded out of line, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Taeyong taps Doyoung’s shoulder.</p><p>“See? He likes you and he cares about you so make a move!”</p><p>Doyoung sends him a panicked look, but grabs his phone and types a reply with shaky fingers. He shows it to Taeyong before sending it, and after getting his best friend’s approval, presses send.</p><p> </p><p><em>Your message didn’t make me uncomfortable! On the contrary, I’m really happy too because I feel the same. I hope we can get even closer</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“There you go,” Taeyong approves, “good boy.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Doyoung protests, and he yelps when Jaehyun answers right away. “Oh my God, he says he wants to see me and he just suggested to watch a movie together, what do I do?”</p><p>Taeyong rolls his eyes.</p><p>“Accept and tell him to come over.”</p><p>“But what about you?” Doyoung asks.</p><p>“If you’re making a move on Jaehyun, I can’t lose. I’m gonna see if Yuta’s free to play some games with me,” Taeyong winks.</p><p>Doyoung goes “oh” in an amazed tone, impressed that Taeyong is being this brave all of a sudden.</p><p>“Okay, good luck with that,” Doyoung cheers, “I’ll text you when Jaehyun leaves.”</p><p>“If he wants to share your bed, I don’t mind,” Taeyong teases, making Doyoung blush and stuttering that no such thing will be happening tonight.</p><p>Taeyong is gone within seconds after taking his phone and putting on a sweater, and Doyoung’s left fidgeting on his bed, waiting for Jaehyun to show up. Deciding he can’t just wait, he gets up and tries to make the bed the best he can and do some last minute cleaning. It’s not like Jaehyun will care whether the room looks messy or not, but Doyoung needs something to do.</p><p>Finally, there’s a knock on his door, and Doyoung squeaks a “come in”. Jaehyun does so with a grin, and Doyoung freezes as the younger pulls him into a surprise hug after throwing a few snacks bags on the bed.</p><p>“Jaehyun?” Doyoung calls out hesitantly, unsure whether he should return the hug or not.</p><p>Jaahyun’s arms are solidly wrapped around his shoulders, and Doyoung can feel how warm his body is.</p><p>“Can we stay like this for a moment?” Jaehyun asks, and Doyoung doesn’t see a reason to refuse.</p><p>“Yeah, of course,” Doyoung answers, and he hesitantly circles Jaehyun’s waist.</p><p>He hopes it’s not too obvious that his heart is beating strongly in his chest, resonating in his ears. He’s just so happy to be in Jaehyun’s arms, embracing him and being embraced back like there’s only the two of them in the world.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I love you, I love you so much and I wish I could stop being a coward and just say it aloud.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>They finally break their hug, reluctantly on Doyoung’s part because being pressed against Jaehyun felt really nice, and Doyoung feels himself blushing as they remain close to each other, making timid eye contact. More than ever, Doyoung feels his crush on Jaehyun intensifying, and he needs all of his self-control not to jump on Jaehyun to kiss him.</p><p>“Bed?” Jaehyun says, and Doyoung’s face flushes furiously.</p><p>“Yes,” he squeaks once more.</p><p>They sit side by side after Doyoung installs his laptop on a chair in front of them, and as soon as he presses play, he feels Jaehyun slide an arm around his waist. He tenses. This is new, they’ve never done this while watching something together.</p><p>Well, usually their thighs are pressed together and it’s happened that they fed each other snacks, but they’ve never held hands or have an arm around each other for the whole movie.</p><p>Doyoung gulps, but rests his back against the cushion and he leans in against Jaehyun. He isn’t sure what this means, but like Taeyong encouraged him, he needs to make a move and let Jaehyun know he’s interested. Jaehyun’s fingers squeeze his waist, and Doyoung takes a deep breath as Jaehyun rests his head on his shoulder.</p><p>“Are you sure that’s comfortable?” Doyoung asks, worried Jaehyun’s gonna hurt his neck.</p><p>“Don’t worry, if it hurts I’ll change positions,” Jaehyun reassures him, squeezing his waist once more.</p><p>Doyoung licks his lips nervously, and tilts his head against Jaehyun’s.</p><p> </p><p>They spend the first minutes of the movie in silence, and at some point, Doyoung encourages himself to take Jaehyun’s free hand, which is currently resting on Jaehyun’s thigh. If Jaehyun hugged him, wrapped an arm around his waist and cuddled him, then surely he’s giving him signs, and it’s time for Doyoung to make sure he’s interpreting these correctly.</p><p>After another deep breath, Doyoung takes Jaehyun’s hand, a bit awkwardly. Jaehyun immediately spread his fingers and intertwines them with Doyoung’s, naturally. Doyoung starts breathing normally again. He’s on the same wavelength as Jaehyun.</p><p>Halfway through the movie, Jaehyun removes himself from Doyoung’s neck, and Doyoung immediately misses the soft ticklish mop of brown hair against his jaw. Jaehyun also unwraps himself from him, and Doyoung holds back a disappointed noise. He wants Jaehyun as close as possible, as soon as possible.</p><p>Jaehyun opens two bags of snacks as they make small talk about the movie, and Doyoung accepts gratefully Jaehyun feeding off kernels of popcorn. There’s something intimate about Jaehyun putting his fingers so close to his mouth, sometimes accidentally touching his lips or his tongue, and Doyoung can’t help but picture a scene where Jaehyun would push his fingers in his mouth for real.</p><p>It’s not even that Doyoung has a thing for Jaehyun’s fingers, they’re just regular fingers and he does not have a kink, but he’s still curious. Maybe he’s got some kind of oral fixation going on, but he isn’t sure if that’s really it. He’s never asked any of his friends if they wanted their crush or lover’s fingers in their mouth before, because it’s kind of strange to ask, but now he kind of wished he had at least asked Taeyong, just to know if it was a normal craving.</p><p> </p><p>Right as he’s still fantasizing, Jaehyun goes “oh”. Doyoung turns towards him, curious, and he feels himself getting a hundred times hotter as Jaehyun stares at his lips.</p><p>“You’ve got some popcorn stuck there, hold on,” Jaehyun says, and then he wipes whatever piece is stuck at the corner of Doyoung’s mouth with his thumb before pushing it in between Doyoung’s parted lips.</p><p>Doyoung, by reflex, sucks on Jaehyun’s thumb, although briefly, and when Jaehyun pulls his finger out of Doyoung’s mouth, there’s a thin thread of saliva that falls on Doyoung’s chin.</p><p>There’s an uncomfortably long eye contact, during which both seem to understand that neither had seen this coming, and Jaehyun merely takes his hand back. Doyoung wipes his chin, and his mouth gets unbelievably dry as he witnesses how Jaehyun gives his thumb a small suck. While it may have been to get rid of Doyoung’s saliva on it – he could’ve just wiped it on a tissue, to be honest – Doyoung realizes that this is kind of an indirect kiss.</p><p>Wow. He’s never needed Jaehyun’s tongue in his mouth as much as he does now.</p><p>However, instead of maybe making a decisive move (his inner Taeyong is chanting “kiss him!”) what Doyoung does is pause the movie and get off the bed. Jaehyun sends him a confused look, and for a split second, Doyoung thinks he sees the fear of rejection in his eyes. If there’s one thing he doesn’t want to do, it’s reject Jaehyun.</p><p>“I’m awfully thirsty, I’m just gonna get us drinks from the kitchen. Want anything?” Doyoung asks, quickly.</p><p>“Uh, I guess soda or something of the sort?”</p><p>Doyoung nods and hurries to the kitchen, his face on fire. He gets the drinks from the fridge, and almost slams the door when closing it. He takes a few deep breaths, and tells himself to go back to his room as soon as possible.</p><p> </p><p>Doyoung isn’t an idiot, he knows that what is happening between him and Jaehyun right now is a decisive moment in their relationship, and he doesn’t want to fuck it up. Walking to the kitchen helped clear his mind, so he can hurry back to his room and maybe talk to Jaehyun.</p><p>Doyoung is relieved to see that Jaehyun hasn’t left the room, though he doesn’t look comfortable, which Doyoung understands. They probably need to take this slow, because if on Jaehyun’s side, there’s also years of pent-up feelings, this is not something they’ll work out overnight.</p><p>Jaehyun waits for Doyoung to sit on the bed again to clear his throat and speak up.</p><p>“I’m sorry if that was too much,” he says.</p><p>It’s vague, it could mean anything from the hug to holding him during the movie or feeding him popcorn. Whatever Jaehyun is referring to, Doyoung doesn’t want him to be sorry about it.</p><p>“It wasn’t,” Doyoung cut him off, “I liked it.”</p><p>He decides that If Jaehyun is vague, he will be too. Hopefully Jaehyun understands that by that, he means that he liked everything they did. He doesn’t feel like tonight is the right moment to confess, but he can at least tell Jaehyun this much. Jaehyun looks up, and Doyoung doesn’t think he’s ever seen that look on him. He looks so hopeful and happy, and Doyoung feels like he can see stars in his eyes.</p><p>“Really?” Jaehyun asks in an incredulous voice, and Doyoung would be tempted to snigger had he not felt so stressed.</p><p>“Yeah,” Doyoung answers, kind of lamely.</p><p>Jaehyun gulps down.</p><p>“Can I hug you? I really need it now.”</p><p>Doyoung closes the distance between them and wraps his arms around Jaehyun’s waist, burying his face in his neck. Jaehyun hugs him back, tightly, and Doyoung smiles knowing that this is real, they’re making actual progress in their relationship. Jaehyun lets out a happy sigh, and he rubs Doyoung’s back gently. Doyoung cuddles up impossibly closer, and his smile brightens as he hears Jaehyun chuckle.</p><p>“Let’s take it slow,” Doyoung suggests in Jaehyun’s ear, “I want… so much more to happen between us, but I don’t want to rush it.”</p><p>He gulps down. It’s his first time admitting his feelings so openly to someone who isn’t Taeyong, and he’s afraid. But his fear dissipates as Jaehyun breaks their embrace to cup his jaw and kiss his cheek, letting his lips linger on the flushed skin for a few seconds.</p><p>“I want to take things slowly too,” Jaehyun grins, “it’s enough for me to know that you feel the same. We can figure stuff out together later.”</p><p>Doyoung beams at him, nodding, and he reciprocates Jaehyun’s kiss, hugging him tightly as he kisses his cheek for the first time. Doyoung sits down normally again, and he shares an embarrassed but happy smile with Jaehyun, whose ears turned cherry red.</p><p>“I’m happy it’s you,” Jaehyun says, taking hold of Doyoung’s hands softly. “And even if I feel a little frustrated it took me this much time to build up some courage to finally act on my feelings, I’m sure it was worth it.”</p><p>Doyoung’s face gets impossibly red and he looks away, taken aback by Jaehyun’s sincerity.</p><p>“I… me too. I’m sorry it took me so long.”</p><p>“It’s okay.”</p><p>Doyoung glances at Jaehyun, and when he sees the same questions about their future in his eyes, he knows it’s okay to relax. They don’t have to be perfect at anything, they can just explore their feelings and see where it leads them.</p><p> </p><p>They sit side by side once more, but this time, it’s obvious they’re both a lot more relaxed. They keep snacking and making small talk as the movie unfolds, and when they’re out of food, it’s time for more cuddling. Doyoung’s chest feels so warm now that he know he can touch Jaehyun as much as he wants and that Jaehyun likes it.</p><p>The movie ends and they remain in each other’s arms, not in a hurry to separate. It isn’t until Taeyong texts Jaehyun that he’s coming back to the room because he’s done playing with Yuta that Doyoung begrudgingly admits that he has to let Jaehyun go.</p><p>“I had fun tonight,” Jaehyun tells him as Doyoung walks him to the door.</p><p>“Me too, I hope we can do this again soon,” Doyoung replies.</p><p>Doyoung ponders if he should kiss Jaehyun on the lips, like he’s been meaning to for the whole evening, but Jaehyun is quicker than him and presses a soft kiss at the corner of his mouth.</p><p>“Good night, see you tomorrow,” Jaehyun tells him as he blushes all the way up to his ears again.</p><p>Doyoung tip-toes to kiss him, also not quite on the mouth.</p><p>“Sweet dreams,” he whispers to Jaehyun, who giggles.</p><p>They share a last hug and Jaehyun leaves right as Taeyong arrives. Doyoung tells him he needs to go brush his teeth before they can talk, and Taeyong nods. When he comes back, he tells everything to Taeyong, who gasps and makes excited noises.</p><p>“So you’re going to get together soon, right?”</p><p>“I guess,” Doyoung answers, unable to stop smiling, “I hope so! But enough about me, how did your evening with Yuta go?”</p><p>Taeyong proceeds to tell him about how Yuta was pleasantly surprised to see him and how they played and chatted the whole time.</p><p>“There was no cuddling or intimate conversations, unfortunately,” Taeyong laments, “but I still have a glimmer of hope that he might like me back!”</p><p>“Hopefully it’ll happen sooner or later,” Doyoung encourages him, “I believe in you.”</p><p>Taeyong grins, and they soon agree to go to sleep.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"Doyoung?"</p><p>Upon being called, Doyoung turns towards Jaehyun with a questioning look.</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>Jaehyun bites on his lower lip, and takes the magnetic card from Doyoung's hand.</p><p>"Can we spend some time together before we go to bed?"</p><p>That leaves Doyoung even more confused. He thought that after leaving Taeyong and Yuta's room following Yuta's surprise confession, and after walking Johnny and Jungwoo to their room, it was more than time to go to bed for them as well.</p><p>"We can do that in our room," Doyoung answers, "just because we're in there doesn't mean we have to go to sleep right away."</p><p>"I know," Jaehyun counters, "but I had an idea and I think tonight is the perfect night for it."</p><p>Doyoung is completely lost, and the alcohol he had earlier doesn't help his comprehension skills. He takes a few seconds to consider Jaehyun's words, and makes a decision: whatever it is that Jaehyun planned, he'll go with it. After all, the odds of Jaehuyn's activity being illegal or potentially dangerous are pretty low, and they have a free day tomorrow anyway. If they're too tired, they'll just stay at the hotel instead of going sight-seeing.</p><p>"Okay then," Doyoung finally agrees, "what did you have in mind?"</p><p>He watches as Jaehyun pockets the card to their room, and takes his hand, intertwining their fingers.</p><p>"Follow me."</p><p> </p><p>The ride in the elevator feels kind of awkward to Doyoung at first, mainly because they're standing so far apart from each other for some reason, despite holding hands. Jaehyun presses a button to a floor that doesn't ring a bell in Doyoung's mind, so instead of making his last functioning braincells work to understand where Jaehyun is taking him, he decides to stop thinking about it.</p><p>Jaehyun finally comes closer to him, resting his forehead on his shoulder.</p><p>"Everything alright?" Doyoung asks him, caressing his hair with his free hand.</p><p>"Yeah," Jaehyun mutters, "happy to be with you."</p><p>"I'm happy too," Doyoung confesses, and it's true.</p><p>He loves Jaehyun so much and he's delighted to get to spend more time with him. It feels so right to be by Jaehyun's side at all times, and ever since they had that conversation where they admitted their attraction to each other, things have looked like they're falling into place, at last. Doyoung is looking forward to the times when he'll be able to refer to Jaehyun as his boyfriend, and when he'll be referred to as Jaehyun's.</p><p> </p><p>They reach the floor where Jaehyun wanted to take him, and Doyoung's nose is immediately hit with the smell of chlorine. The air feels kind of suffocating because it's so humid, but it's not too bad – mainly because they're staying into a luxurious hotel, Doyoung figures.</p><p>"The pool?" Doyoung asks aloud, blinking in confusion.</p><p>"The pool," Jaehyun confirms with an amused grin.</p><p>"Are we allowed to go to the pool when it's so late?" Doyoung can't help but ask worriedly, eyes jumping from one spot to another to check if there's any sign forbidding pool entrance at night.</p><p>He sees nothing, so he merely looks at Jaehyun with a hint of anxiousness.</p><p>"Don't worry," Jaehyun says, "I didn't plan for us to swim laps."</p><p>"We're not wearing any swimwear," Doyoung objects once more, wondering what the hell they're going to do in a pool if not swim.</p><p>"Babe, how about you relax?" Jaehyun tells him, squeezing his fingers, "it'll be fun, I promise."</p><p>The effect of the petname is immediate: Doyoung's brain shuts down and he nods, unable to come up with any other argument. Jaehyun's cheeks flush, and it's obvious he's also embarrassed to have called Doyoung so affectionately.</p><p>Doyoung follows Jaehyun obediently, and they walk all the way to a jacuzzi, sitting at the very end of the indoor pool. Doyoung feels a little less anxious knowing Jaehyun wasn't planning on having them go into the bigger pool, but when they reach the jacuzzi, he's once again wondering what Jaehyun's plans are exactly. As nice as the jacuzzi looks, lights still on and water bubbling at the surface, they don't have swimsuits.</p><p>"And now?" Doyoung asks, arching an eyebrow.</p><p>"Now we get in," Jaehyun answers, making Doyoung gasp.</p><p>"What?! Even if we're wearing our clothes?"</p><p>"Yes, that's part of the fun," Jaehyun confirms, "c'mon, trust me."</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun lets go of his hand, takes out the magnetic card to put it aside on a dry place and enters the jacuzzi, making a small content noise as he does so. Doyoung watches him do so, kind of horrified, and he looks around nervously. If someone comes in and catches them so late at night in the jacuzzi, still dressed and also tipsy, it's over for them.</p><p>"Jaehyun, this is making me nervous."</p><p>Jaehyun nods, and comes up as close as possible while remaining in the jacuzzi.</p><p>"I made sure it was doable," he reassures Doyoung, "and if anything happens, I'll take the blame. We don't have to stay for too long, but I thought it'd be nice for what I want to tell you if I were to tell you here."</p><p>Jaehyun looks genuine, and that's enough to convince Doyoung, who steps into the jacuzzi as well. He's surprised by how nice the warm water feels against his skin, even if he's still wearing clothes. He looks around once more, amazed that the pool is so quiet and beautiful at night.</p><p>"It's nice out there," Doyoung comments, still looking around them.</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun brings him closer, and soon they're sitting chest to chest, with Doyoung's arms wrapped around Jaehyun's shoulders while Jaehyun is embracing his waist. Doyoung gulps at their proximity, but doesn't complain. After all, Jaehyun's arms is his favorite place to be.</p><p>Jaehyun is currently looking at him like he's his whole universe, which has Doyoung feel extremely warm and happy. He can only hope that this much love is also being reflected in his own eyes, because Jaehyun means this much to him as well.</p><p>"So," Jaehyun starts, "I'm sure you already know everything, but I wanted to tell you myself, with my own words. I'm not good at being romantic, as you can tell. I mean, we're sitting in a jacuzzi when it's 1am and we're still drunk, so I'd say it's pretty far from romantic... but nevermind that, because I wanted to tell you that I love you."</p><p>He pauses, and Doyoung is staring at his mouth like a starved man.</p><p>"I love you so much I don't even have the words to express it correctly. I fell in love with you the moment I met you, and these feelings never disappeared. You're every positive adjective I could think of, and you're far from perfect but I don't want perfect, I want you, the Kim Dongyoung who's passionate, caring, sexy and who's in my head all the time."</p><p>This time, Doyoung can't stop himself. He crashes his lips against Jaehyun's, swallowing his moan of pleasure, and he gets impossibly close to him. Jaehyun's back hits one side of the jacuzzi as they kiss hungrily, tongues meeting messily between their parted lips. Doyoung doesn't even break the kiss to tilt his head, exploring a new kissing angle that has them both moaning.</p><p>"I love you too," Doyoung confesses as they're breathing heavily, "fuck, I love you so much, I love you, I love you, I love you <em>more than anything</em>-"</p><p>He cuts himself off, taking a deep breath.</p><p>"You have no idea how much you mean to me. I've always been in love with you, I've always wanted to be your boyfriend. You're amazing and I admire you so much, I want to take care of you as much as I want to enjoy seeing you be yourself so that I can fall in love with you all over again."</p><p>"Looks like we're on the same wavelength," Jaehyun smiles brightly.</p><p>"Yeah," Doyoung agrees breathlessly before kissing Jaehyun again, licking at his lips, at his mouth, at anything he can reach with his tongue</p><p>.</p><p>Their kisses are more saliva and teeth than softness and tenderness, but neither care for now. There's desperation, an unfulfilled craving that's been between them for far too long and upon which they can now finally act.</p><p>They spend minutes kissing passionately, just tongues and lips meeting over and over for what seems like an eternity. Doyoung feels like his ears are stuffed with cotton, and he can't even hear the sound of the jacuzzi bubbling around them. He briefly wonders if there's such a thing as tongue numbness due to too much kissing, but the thought leaves his mind as soon as it appeared.</p><p>The new couple reluctantly breaks away, and when their eyes lock, they see the same lust shining in each other's gaze.</p><p>"I'm nowhere near satisfied," Jaehyun says, and Doyoung shakes his head.</p><p>"Me neither."</p><p>It's obvious they're unsure how far they can allow themselves to go, and there's a short moment of hesitation before Doyoung unwraps his arms from Jaehyun's shoulders to rest his palms on his chest, feeling the prominent pecs under Jaehyun's drenched white shirt.</p><p>Jaehyun's breath picks up as Doyoung gives his chest a tentative squeeze, and he moans when Doyoung grazes one nipple through the wet fabric. Seeing his boyfriend visibly enjoying his ministrations, Doyoung decides to keep going. He gently plays with Jaehyun's nipples through his shirt, alternating rubbing them with the pad of a finger at the same time or simultaneously. He tries pinching them too, but Jaehyun admits breathlessly that he liked Doyoung rubbing them more.</p><p>So Doyoung simply goes back to that, appreciating how Jaehyun is getting so red and keeps squirming just because he's teasing his nipples.</p><p>"Can you... can you sit on me?" Jaehyun asks, so red and cute in Doyoung's eyes.</p><p>"Of course," Doyoung easily agrees, and they shift until Doyoung is safely seated on Jaehyun's lap.</p><p>Doyoung peppers kisses on Jaehyun's face as he keeps playing with his nipples, and he can't help but smirk at how Jaehyun is shaking, slowly turning into a moaning mess.</p><p>"You really feel good from your nipples," Doyoung comments the obvious, pausing because Jaehyun's breathing rhythm is erratic.</p><p>"They're sensitive," Jaehyun admits, "especially if you touch them through some fabric and not directly."</p><p>Doyoung takes note of this interesting fact for later, and he kisses Jaehyun on the lips, gently.</p><p> </p><p>As they share a few gentle kisses, Doyoung's hands travel further south, and soon he's caressing Jaehyun's abs, in awe that he's allowed to touch and just look from afar now.</p><p>"Why are you so ridiculously hot," Doyoung groans against Jaehyun's lips, "you're gonna be the death of me."</p><p>"I'll use my body as much as I need to seduce you," Jaehyun jokes, "I'll make sure I'm the hottest guy around so you're never tempted to leave."</p><p>Doyoung laughs, and he nuzzles their noses together.</p><p>"I'm never leaving, let's establish that. I mean, unless you don't want me anymore, that is."</p><p>"I'm not gonna fall out of love when I finally have my soulmate by my side," Jaehyun retorts with a confident grin. "We're forever now."</p><p>"Okay, that works for me," Doyoung concludes with a searing kiss.</p><p>As they kiss, Doyoung starts grinding their lower halves together, making them gasp in unison. It's a little difficult to tell because of the unfamiliar environment, but Doyoung thinks Jaehyun has gotten hard because of his foreplay.</p><p>Obviously, he wants nothing more than to make him harder and make him come, and he thinks that as disgusting that would be for the next people using the jacuzzi, he'd really like it if they could come together, there and now. Well, hopefully there's some kind of system for the jacuzzi water to be renewed, Doyoung hopes in the back of his mind before deepening his kiss with Jaehyun and accentuating his grinding movements.</p><p> </p><p>Jaehyun's gotten impossibly redder by now, and Doyoung is sure that he's looking at least this red too. After all, the air is so humid around them, and the fact that they're having sex in a jacuzzi certainly isn't helping. Doyoung settles for less kissing so that they can breathe properly, and for him to focus on making his hips meet with Jaehyun's as arousingly as he can given their current situation.</p><p>But he eventually realizes that this is going to take a while and that the chances of them both losing their arousal are greated than the chances of them climaxing through grinding alone, so he stops and sighs. Jaehyun sends him a confused look, and Doyoung kisses him gently.</p><p>"Do you mind if..." he asks, not finishing his sentence but instead directly groping Jaehyun's crotch through his sweatpants underwater.</p><p>Jaehyun whines, loudly, and he stutters a shaky "go ahead". So Doyoung does exactly that, his hand cupping Jaehyun's length through the wet fabric, feeling it under his fingers for the first time. He quickly stops to tug at his own sweatpants, pulling down his underwear while he's at it. Jaehyun imitates him, pulling down everything in one go.</p><p> </p><p>They move around and Jaehyun sits on a higher step of the jacuzzi, with enough space to allow Doyoung to come sit on him comfortably. That way, they won't have to struggle as much as if their lower halves were completely underwater.</p><p>Doyoung is back on his lip in no time, and Jaehyun fails to repress a shiver as Doyoung spits in his palms. Doyoung is focused, wanting to make this right, and while for now they have to do without lube, he figures spit will be enough. Once his palms and fingers are slick enough, he carefully takes hold of his and Jaehyun's cocks, making them rub together.</p><p>"Oh," Jaehyun moans, "oh God," he adds, sounding breathless already.</p><p>"Yeah baby I know," Doyoung moans as well.</p><p>Jerking off two cocks at once is slightly more difficult than he thought it would be, but Doyoung is pretty sure he can figure out a good rhythm soon. He's a little amazed he went from getting a love confession from Jaehyun to kissing him and now he has his erection against his palm, thick and throbbing.</p><p>He can't help but compare their girths, and he's surprised to see that he's actually thicker than his boyfriend. Jaehyun's cock is longer, though, and the thought of putting it in his mouth arouses him lots. He licks his lips, still looking down at their cocks sharing pre-cum, and he sighs in pleasure. All he's got on his mind is Jaehyun, Jaehyun's body, how it'd feel to fuck him but also how it'd feel to spread his legs as wide as he could to welcome in that wonderful cock as deep as possible in his ass.</p><p>"Love you," Doyoung grunts, "want you so bad," he adds, his forehead resting on Jaehyun's wet shoulder.</p><p>"Me too baby, wanna fuck," Jaehyun babbles.</p><p> </p><p>Doyoung's orgasm hits him not long after, and he comes with a silent scream, mouthing at Jaehyun's skin so as to not be loud. Jaehyun is louder, but Doyoung is too gone to tell him to keep it down. When Doyoung looks down again, his hands are full of cum and their respective cocks are slowly softening. He sighs again, and presses a tender kiss to Jaehyun's neck.</p><p>"Love you," Jaehyun whispers, rubbing Doyoung's back.</p><p>"Love you too," Doyoung says, feeling giddy to be all cuddled up to his favorite person.</p><p>They share a kiss on the lips, much more softer than their previous ones, and move back into the deeper part of the jacuzzi to wash up. They giggle as they do so, and they keep kissing, as if unable to be away from each other now that their hearts and bodies have connected.</p><p>"Let's go back to our room," Jaehyun says, "I think we've been wild enough here."</p><p>"You're right," Doyoung agrees, and they both get up.</p><p>They carefully exit the jacuzzi and realize they don't have any towels, so they decide to just hurry back to their room. Jaehyun retrieves the magnetic key he had left earlier, and the trip back is short. Jaehyun is about to unlock their door when another door opens, revealing a disheveled Johnny. Doyoung and Jaehyun share a curious look, and they head towards Johnny to make sure he's okay. After all, when they helped him back to his room ealrier, he was pretty wasted.</p><p>"Johnny? Are you all right?" Doyoung asks.</p><p>Johnny yawns and nods, scratching his stomach.</p><p>"Yeah," he answers in a sleepy voice, "I forgot my phone charger in your room so I was heading there."</p><p>Jaehyun chuckles.</p><p>"It must be 1am, what if we had been asleep?"</p><p>Johnny shrugs.</p><p>"You're not, you're in the corridor holding hands."</p><p>There's a pause, and Johnny frowns in confusion.</p><p>"Holding hands... holding hands?"</p><p>Jaehyun and Doyoung share another look, and they have the same thought. Doyoung squeezes Jaehyun's fingers against his, and Jaehyun gives him a small nod.</p><p>"We're dating now," Jaehyun confesses.</p><p>Johnny's sleepy eyes open wide, but his expression quickly morphs into one of pure happiness. He pulls the couple into a hug, and he makes a happy noise.</p><p>"Congratulations!"</p><p>Only to release them right away, making a grimace.</p><p>"Why the fuck are you two so wet?"</p><p>"Oh", Jaehyun says, "we were at the swimming pool."</p><p>"The swimming pool?" Johnny repeats in disbelief, "at this hour?"</p><p>"Don't mind us," Doyoung chirps in, "Jaehyun just won't confess like a normal person and he thought that the pool was the better option."</p><p>Johnny takes a few seconds to understand Doyoung's words, and then bursts out in laughter.</p><p>"You two are unbelievable!"</p><p>Jaehyun lets out a small laugh too, and he goes as far as to kiss Doyoung's cheek. Doyoung reciprocates, making Johnny sigh fondly. The conversation ends there and the trio gets in Doyoung and Jaehyun's shared room. Johnny gets his phone charger and leaves for his own room right away, wishing them a good night and ending his sentence with a wink.</p><p>Once the door is locked, Jaehyun brings Doyoung to him and kisses him deeply on the lips.</p><p>"I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't feel like going to sleep," he admits between kisses.</p><p>"Good thing I feel the same," Doyoung teases him, "bed?" he asks.</p><p>"Bed," Jaehyun confirms.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Taeyongie</strong>
</p><p>lord help me</p><p>doyooooo</p><p>i know we all agreed to have brunch together today but</p><p>i dont think i can get up (இ﹏இ`｡)</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Doie ♡</strong>
</p><p>hello to you too</p><p>how come?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Taeyongie</strong>
</p><p>um</p><p>yuta? (♥ω♥*)</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Doie ♡</strong>
</p><p>OH</p><p>how was it???</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Taeyongie</strong>
</p><p>i saw god ♡ඩ⌔ඩ♡</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Doie ♡</strong>
</p><p>no way</p><p>that good?</p><p>what's in his dick lmao</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Taeyongie</strong>
</p><p>man idk but i'm not complaining</p><p>my ass tho,,,</p><p>i mean i wasn't complaining ytd night but now,,, it kinda hurts</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Doie ♡</strong>
</p><p>did u bottom the whole night or what</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Taeyongie</strong>
</p><p>i did</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Doie ♡</strong>
</p><p>O h</p><p>as long as it felt nice</p><p>congrats on getting with yuta, finally</p><p>i'm so hapy for you yongie ♡♡</p><p>i know how much you waited for this</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Taeyongie</strong>
</p><p>thank you (இ﹏இ`｡)</p><p>i'm excited to see what it's going to be like dating him</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Doie ♡</strong>
</p><p>hehe</p><p>i also have something to tell you</p><p>i'm dating Jaehyun now ♡ඩ⌔ඩ♡</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Taeyongie</strong>
</p><p>EXCUSE ME</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Doie ♡</strong>
</p><p>I KNOW</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Taeyongie</strong>
</p><p>AMAZING</p><p>okay that gives me a good reason to get up</p><p>you gotta tell me everything</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Doie ♡</strong>
</p><p>as a teaser i can tell you we were at the swimming pool ytd night</p><p>then after coming back to our room</p><p>we spent the whole night doing it hehe</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Taeyongie</strong>
</p><p>wooo get it Doie!!</p><p>congratulations too (இ﹏இ`｡)</p><p>and now we have the same anniversary ♡＾▽＾♡</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Doie ♡</strong>
</p><p>I REFUSE (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Taeyongie</strong>
</p><p>♡</p><p>see you at brunch</p><p>ilyy</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Doyoung looks up from his pillow to check the time on his phone, and lets out a deep sigh. It's too early to go to sleep, and the only people he feels like seeing are busy. He doesn't resent Taeyong for going on a date with Yuta, of course not, and Jaehyun can't help that he has to work overtime today. It just sucks, Doyoung thinks, because he could've really used some company tonight.</p><p> </p><p>The atmosphere at the 127 dorms has been slowly deteriorating, and knowing he's partly responsible for it has been putting an additional burden on his shoulders. It all started with Jungwoo catching him and Jaehyun having sex in their room, which led to Jungwoo becoming inexplicably cold to him. For the longest time, Doyoung thought Jungwoo was just being petty.</p><p>But then, Jungwoo and Jaehyun argued, and while Doyoung wasn't present at the time of the argument because he was out with Taeyong, Jaehyun had told him everything that happened. Doyoung had deeply regretted sending that text telling Jaehyun that he was feeling more and more uncomfortable with Jungwoo. Causing Jungwoo and Jaehyun to argue to the point Jaehyun would stop being friends with Jungwoo had never been his intention.</p><p> </p><p>By association, this moment had also been the end of his own friendship with Jungwoo. If only it had just been Jungwoo resenting him for dating Jaehyun and being jealous of their relationship, but knowing Jungwoo hated him had been a shock. Doyoung knew people hated him, plenty of people did, but in this specific context, he hadn't done anything that would justify hatred.</p><p>Doyoung felt even worse that he didn't know what to do. He had been in love with Jaehyun for years, and he had seen his feelings reciprocated, that was literally it. It was just a matter of luck that Jaehyun happened to love him back. What did Jungwoo want him to do? He didn't want to break up with Jaehyun, and even if he did, Jaehyun's feelings wouldn't change – and especially now that the argument had happened.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, Jaehyun and Doyoung not being friends with Jungwoo anymore impacted the group, and while Doyoung had been open to discussing the issue with Jungwoo and Jaehyun again, Jaehyun had stubbornly refused to speak to Jungwoo again, and Jungwoo had declared the same.</p><p>“I especially don’t want to talk to you,” Jungwoo had spat, making Doyoung freeze in shock because why was Jungwoo being so rude to him? That was so uncalled for!</p><p>Taeyong had tried arranging things, but to no avail. Doyoung had decided to stop trying, seeing as his attempts at making up with Jungwoo would only end in him getting hurt, and Jaehyun had become exceptionally good at acting like things were okay with Jungwoo when they were on a schedule.</p><p>In the vans and in the dorms, it was another story, and Doyoung knew that as much as Jaehyun wanted to switch roommates, they couldn’t, for the sake of appearance. It was already bad that between the members, the atmosphere was tense, they didn’t need management to realize something was up.</p><p> </p><p>Doyoung sighs again. He’s genuinely sad the situation went out of hand this much, and now it seems that now, some of the bonds he spent years building are severed – apparently for good. He misses Jungwoo, misses joking with him and going out with him, but knowing the feeling is not reciprocated anymore and that all Jungwoo feels towards him is printed with negativity deeply hurts him.</p><p>I still have Jaehyun, Doyoung tries to cheer up, and Taeyong, Yuta, Johnny… but just because he’s got everyone else doesn’t meant that he can forget the pain of losing a close friend over something none of them can control. Had Jaehyun not loved him back and chosen Jungwoo, Doyoung thinks that of course, he would’ve been obviously heart-broken. It would’ve been so hard seeing them kiss and cuddle, knowing they’d have sex behind closed doors and whatnot.</p><p>Still, Doyoung believes that while this would’ve surely been his most devastating heartbreak, he could’ve moved on. Slowly, painfully, but moved on nevertheless. But he can’t know for sure. He empathizes with Jungwoo for being mad, though he does wish the latter would try to be at least cordial instead of glaring at him whenever they cross paths.</p><p>I have to stop thinking about this situation, Doyoung tells himself, rubbing his puffy, tired, eyes, I really have to.</p><p> </p><p>Just as he’s considering heading to bed regardless of how early it is, the door of his shared room with Taeyong opens, revealing Jaehyun. He’s changed into comfortable clothes and his hair is wet, making Doyoung guess he showered after coming back from his late schedule, and even if he looks exhausted, he’s still the most handsome in Doyoung’s eyes.</p><p>“Hey baby,” Doyoung greets him with a smile. “Finally back?”</p><p>“Hey,” Jaehyun answers, joining him on the bed and pecking his mouth before cuddling him, “yeah, fucking finally. I’m dead.”</p><p>“Love you,” Doyoung adds as Jaehyun his his face in his neck with a whine, “I’m proud of you, you’re working so hard.”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>Jaehyun’s answer is muffled, and it makes Doyoung smile softly. He’s so happy to be with his boyfriend, just them lying down in the same bed cuddling and chilling. He guesses Jaehyun is still stressed from the schedule that ended not too long ago, especially seeing as the upcoming days will be tiring before they catch a break, so he needs to let him rest and cheer him up as much as he can.</p><p>“Wanna sleep here tonight? I was planning on going to bed soon.”</p><p>Jaehyun finally gets his face out of Doyoung’s neck, and he presses their lips together in a tight-lipped kiss. Their tongues meet, slowly, and after a few wet kisses, Jaehyun breaks away.</p><p>“Yes please, I’ll get some energy back from sleeping next to you. Is Taeyong sleeping here tonight?”</p><p>“He’s probably sleeping with Yuta, they went on a date tonight.”</p><p>“Okay, cool. I’ll take you on that going to bed offer because I’m gonna drop any second now.”</p><p>They shift, making space for each other’s limbs in Doyoung’s bed, and Doyoung turns off the lights.</p><p>“Love you so much,” Jaehyun whispers before kissing his cheek, “sweet dreams babe.”</p><p>“Love you too, sweet dreams,” Doyoung replies, and they both fall silent.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Good morning,” a raw, husky voice whispers in his ear, and Doyoung suddenly jolts awake.</p><p>He hears laughter, and he needs a few seconds to remember that Jaehyun slept in his bed, hence the sexy wake up words in his ear. With a pout, he rubs his eyes and squints to make out his boyfriend’s features.</p><p>“Hi,” he croaks.</p><p>“Your morning breath stinks,” Jaehyun tells him before kissing him deeply, his tongue surrounding Doyoung’s and stroking it hungrily.</p><p>“Shut up, like yours is any better,” Doyoung finally retorts after they break to breathe, and Jaehyun chuckles.</p><p>“Don’t worry, you’re gonna like where my mouth is going.”</p><p>“What does that mean-” Doyoung asks before slamming his hand against his mouth to cover a moan from escaping as Jaehyun suddenly gropes him through his boxers.</p><p>Jaehyun’s hand feels great against his growing erection, and Doyoung can’t help but whine in pleasure as Jaehyun tugs at his boxers, freeing his half-hard cock. Jaehyun spits in his palm and strokes him some more, and Doyoung moans wantonly.</p><p>“We shouldn’t,” he says, and while it’s true, he can’t deny that morning sex always turns him on like crazy.</p><p>It’s arousing to him that they’re able to connect through love despite barely being awake, and the dizziness from morning orgasms just hits different.</p><p>“Wanna stop?” Jaehyun teases.</p><p>“Fuck no,” Doyoung answers, making Jaehyun chuckle.</p><p>“That’s what I thought.”</p><p>Jaehyun’s mouth is on his cock right after those words, and Doyoung tries to keep the moans and grunts to a minimum. He’s gotten better at it, and Jaehyun has always been the loudest one between them anyway. Jaehyun’s mouth feels good, perfectly hot and moist, and Doyoung’s hips move on their own. Jaehyun accommodates his body rolls, and Doyoung stops thinking about how they’re supposed to get ready for a schedule and just enjoys the moment.</p><p>Doyoung barely has the time to jerk Jaehyun off between messy kisses that there’s a knock on their door and Taeyong is telling them to hurry up and have breakfast before the manages comes. They share a knowing look, Doyoung’s eyes eventually trailing on the cum that landed on Jaehyun’s cheek earlier and Jaehyun staring at his swollen lips.</p><p>“Love you,” Doyoung says, and Jaehyun answers by the same two words, a grin and a sloppy kiss.</p><p> </p><p>Doyoung understands that Jaehyun seems to be particularly horny today as his boyfriend’s hand ends up on his crotch again later that day. They’re in the van driving them back to the dorms after an exhausting day, and Doyoung is surprised by Jaehyun’s bold action. They agreed not to interact more than necessary in public, and they’ve never even held hands in the van before. Moreover, they’re not alone in the van, Jungwoo and Yuta are riding in front of them while Taeyong is sitting next to the manager, who’s the one driving.</p><p>Doyoung sends Jaehyun a half-panicked, half-questioning look.</p><p>“What are you doing?” he mouths to his boyfriend.</p><p>“Just relax,” Jaehyun mouths back, “wanna make you feel good,” he adds.</p><p>Doyoung bites his lower lip nervously, and thinks about it. He’s not opposed to public sex or exhibitionism or whatever the fuck it’s called when your boyfriend jerks you off in a van full of people, but he is a tiny bit worried. They just need not to get caught.</p><p>“Okay,” Doyoung nods, “just… be discreet.”</p><p>Jaehyun sends him a tiny smirk, the corner of his lips lifting and making his precious dimples appear on his cheeks, and Doyoung melts. He’s so stupidly in love with Jaehyun, but he doesn’t regret it. Every second spent by his side is worth it.</p><p> </p><p>Doyoung brings his jacket over his lap, covering his crotch from sight, and relaxes. Jaehyun squeezes him through his pants, his fingers carefully kneading through the tight fabric tightening even more. Doyoung realizes how much of a pervert he actually is for enjoying this forbidden handjob, and his breath shortens as Jaehyun slides his hand in his pants after undoing the button and the zipper.</p><p>They don’t have lube and it’s not like Jaehyun can openly spit in his palm like he did this morning to make up for the lack of proper lube, so it’s a little dry with just Doyoung’s pre-cum, but the pleasure is still there. Doyoung guesses that his arousal is stronger than his fear to get caught, and there’s something about knowing his boyfriend is touching his cock right now when no one else knows that makes his mind buzz with excitement.</p><p>“I love you,” Jaehyun suddenly whispers in his ear, never stopping his pumping movements, “I need to fuck you so badly, it’s been too long.”</p><p>Doyoung hopes he’s not too red and flushed in the face, and he whispers back.</p><p>“Tonight,” he stutters, “I missed you, I wanna fuck you too.”</p><p>“You got yourself a deal, Mr Kim,” Jaehyun concludes before squeezing him between his fingers.</p><p>Doyoung holds back a moan, and tells himself to breathe slowly and evenly. He can’t let anyone see he’s flustered, and he especially can’t let them see the reason for his red face and hazy eyes.</p><p> </p><p>As the van keeps going, the ride peaceful and the only thing they can hear is the radio the manager turned on earlier, Doyoung lets himself appreciating how good Jaehyun’s fingers feel on his erection. He tries to keep his eyes open at first, but eventually closes them, pretending he’s taking a nap. Jaehyun whispers “lean on me” and Doyoung does so, tilting his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. They’re closer that way, and they don’t look too suspicious, and now only Jaehyun can hear how much trouble he has breathing.</p><p>“Close?” Jaehyun asks in a low voice.</p><p>“Yeah,” Doyoung confirms, and it only takes a few more pumps before he spills come all over Jaehyun’s hand.</p><p>Jaehyun slowly takes out his hand from Doyoung’s soiled boxers, and wipes it on Doyoung’s shirt.</p><p>“Sorry,” he murmurs, and Doyoung shakes his head.</p><p>“’s good, don’t worry,” Doyoung says.</p><p>He’ll just tuck his shirt into his pants when they exit the van and he’ll wash everything later. Now though, he needs to make sure whether Jaehyun wants him to reciprocate the favor or if they’ll wait until they’re back at the dorms.</p><p>“Do you want me to…?” Doyoung asks vaguely.</p><p>“Let’s wait, we’re almost back,” Jaehyun answers.</p><p>Doyoung nods, and spends the rest of the ride leaning against Jaehyun.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>A few days later, Doyoung agrees to go on a date with Jaehyun. They have two free days in a row, which is definitely pleasant and an opportunity to spend more time together. They haven’t gone on a proper date in a while and Doyoung is feeling just as excited as on their very first dates. There’s something so special about going out with his boyfriend knowing that no one outside knows about them being on a date and in a relationship, and he really likes it.</p><p>They spend the day shopping and eating, and after dropping by the dorms to put their shopping backs, they go outside once more to enjoy the night. They don’t hold hands but they took off their masks, keeping them in their pocket just in case. Night walks are fun because they tend to be chill, it’s just them walking without an aim and talking about pretty much anything and everything.</p><p>As they walk by a convenience store, Jaehyun goes “oh” and tells Doyoung he just remembered he needed to buy something for Yuta. Doyoung nods, and as he’s about to follow Jaehyun into the store, stops in his tracks because his phone starts ringing. Jaehyun sends him a questioning look, to which Doyoung answers with a grin.</p><p>“Go ahead, I’ll wait for you outside,” Doyoung says.</p><p>“Gotcha,” Jaehyun agrees, “I’ll be right back.”</p><p>Doyoung walks away from the convenience store as he fishes his phone off his pants pocket, and without looking at the phone number, answers the call.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>The line goes dead, making him frown as he hears the usual “beep” that announces that the phone call ended, and he looks at his screen in confusion. His eyes widen as the screen reads “Jungwoo”, but he doesn’t have the time to ponder about it more as he’s yanked from behind and slammed against a wall.</p><p>He almost bites his tongue from the shock, and his first thought is that he’s probably going to have some ugly bruises on his back. He hit his head pretty badly too, and the world feels like it’s spinning around him. It hurts so much and he’s so confused.</p><p> </p><p>Doyoung tries to focus, blinking away the dark stars blackening his vision, only to feel the sharpest pain he’s ever felt in his right shoulder. He lets out a scream of pain and tears come up in his eyes, spilling down his cheeks as a hand covers his mouth, pushing his head against the wall. The back of his head hits the rock-hard wall, right where he had bruised it seconds ago, and the combined pain from his head and his shoulder only serves to make him sob harder.</p><p>There’s an ugly, squelching noise as the knife that just stabbed his shoulder is finally taken out, and Doyoung feels blood running down his shoulder and his chest. He’s panicking so much he can hardly breathe, especially with the way his mouth is covered, and he has no idea how deep the wound might be. He can only hope it’s nothing too bad, but he has no idea how much blood he’s losing.</p><p>Time seems to be going ridiculously slowly, and it seems like an eternity passed by before Doyoung’s assailant finally speaks up. It’s so dark in the alley where they are Doyoung can’t make out their features, but because of their strength and their height, Doyoung assumes it’s a man.</p><p>“Shut up this instant or I’m cutting off your tongue,” a voice Doyoung recognizes as being Jungwoo’s warns, a hint of annoyance in his tone.</p><p>Doyoung gulps down, but his throat is too dry and it only serves to hurt him. It seems that Jungwoo is observing him, and Doyoung isn’t sure what Jungwoo sees with all of this darkness surrounding them, but he’s not about to try and make him angrier.</p><p>“Look at you,” Jungwoo snarls, “crying and shaking like a baby! But you can’t complain, because you had it coming, oh yes you did.”</p><p>Doyoung’s eyes widen, and as much as he wishes he could stop crying because the tears are making his vision blurry, he can’t bring himself to do so. The pain is too much and if he can’t scream, he needs to at least cry.</p><p> </p><p>Jungwoo removes his hand from his face, but leaves no time to Doyoung to scream for he chokes him right away, his left hand constricting Doyoung’s throat while his right one plays with the knife, running the blade up Doyoung’s already wounded arm.</p><p>“You always looked so proud being with Jaehyun, holding his arm like a leech and spreading your legs like a fucking whore,” Jungwoo keeps going, his tone sounding more hateful than ever, “did you think I wouldn’t notice, in the van? You were so obvious, squirming like the disgusting exhibitionist slut that you are!”</p><p>Doyoung shrinks, Jungwoo’s words barely making sense to him because of the death grip on his throat making him feel light-headed. Every cell in his body screams “danger” but Doyoung remains still, unable to think straight.</p><p>“Maybe I should cut off your disgusting dick,” Jungwoo whispers, his breath fanning Doyoung’s face. “You have no idea how much I thought of what I should do to you once I’d finally have you at my mercy. By the end of the night, I can assure you you’ll be so disfigured Jaehyun won’t even look at you. But maybe you’ll even be dead before he finds your body, who knows?”</p><p>He’s serious, Doyoung realizes with horror, he’s gone completely mad and he’s gonna kill me, oh my God he’s gonna kill me I’m gonna die I’m gonna fucking die I’m so scared of dying--</p><p>“Doyoung?! Where did you go?”</p><p>Jaehyun.</p><p>Both Jungwoo and Doyoung freeze, and Doyoung’s instinct finally takes over: if he wants to escape, it’s now or never. Gathering his last strengths, he pushes Jungwoo as hard as he can, sending the younger man tumbling on the concrete ground. He chokes, but decides catching his breath will need to wait until he’s at a safe distance away from Jungwoo. Despite the pounding pain in his head and the disturbing feeling of the wound in his shoulder, Doyoung takes off.</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes later, he’s hiding behind a tree in a nearby park. His breath is erratic, and he furiously wipes away his tears and his snot. He doesn’t dare look at the wound in his shoulder, but his arm feels numb and he isn’t sure if the intensifying feeling of dizziness is due to blood loss or due to his fear of being murdered.</p><p>A broken sob escapes his mouth against his will, and he slams a hand against his mouth, repeating himself “don’t cry” like a mantra. He can’t cry, he can’t make a noise, he needs to hide well and survive. A chill runs down his spine as he belatedly realizes that he left Jaehyun alone with Jungwoo.</p><p>What if Jungwoo tries to kill him too? Doyoung asks himself, his heart dropping in his stomach. Then maybe running away from Jungwoo wasn’t a smart move, because Jungwoo is armed and Jaehyun isn’t. If it was the two of them against Jungwoo, then maybe they could’ve beaten him.</p><p>Oh my God, I left my boyfriend alone with a murderer, Doyoung thinks, his tears back in his puffy eyes, but I was so scared Jungwoo was gonna kill me! I don’t want to die, dying is terrifying, I’d never see Jaehyun ever again and everything would be over--</p><p>“Hello there.”</p><p>Doyoung lands on the ground before he can even realize he got pushed, and this time, the shock of knocking his head on the concrete almost make him pass out. Unable to resist as Jungwoo manhandles him, he’s barely conscious that the younger makes him sit up on the ground, holding him by the hair. His vision is blurry he struggles to make out the form that seems to be getting closer to them, and it’s only when the person who caught up to them speaks up that he realizes their identity.</p><p>“What are you doing?!” Jaehyun screeches, “release him!”</p><p>Jaehyun has come to save me, Doyoung realizes, Jaehyun is there. The hope that suddenly lights up his heart is enough to keep him conscious, but now he also wants to throw up. His heart is beating so hard in his chest and his nausea is really bad, there’s no telling how long he’ll be able to keep conscious.</p><p>“I thought I knocked you out,” Jungwoo says, and he sounds surprisingly calm.</p><p>“You thought wrong,” Jaehyun snarls, “let go of Doyoung at once.”</p><p>He takes a step forward, Doyoung notices, and Jungwoo goes “tsk” before swiftly raising his knife in the air and lowering it so quickly Doyoung doesn’t register his right side got stabbed before a few seconds. When he does, he screams again, and even to his own ears, it sounds like the scream of a dying man.</p><p>“Stay where you are, or I’m killing him,” Jungwoo threatens, yanking Doyoung’s hair violently.</p><p>Jaehyun freezes, obviously shocked, and he nods.</p><p>“Okay, okay, fuck, I’m not moving! Please stop hurting him, I’m begging you.”</p><p>Jungwoo nods, and Doyoung really feels like this is the end for him. He’s losing so much blood and while he has no idea if Jungwoo hit his organs with the last attack, he’s pretty sure that he could die from the blood loss and fear only.</p><p> </p><p>He closes his eyes, more tears rolling freely on his cheeks, and wonders what he did to deserve such an ending. More than he’s ever been in his life, he’s terrified of dying, of what it means never to wake up again, and he’s never been more heart-broken. There’s so many things he wanted to do in his life, with his friends, with his family, with Jaehyun, and it feels so unfair that he won’t even get to say goodbye properly.</p><p>Doyoung forces his eyes open, and tries to imprint the sight of Jaehyun’s face in his eyes and mind forever. This is the last time he’s seeing him, and while the thought hurts him more than anything, he knows he’d rather spend his last moments thinking about Jaehyun than about being afraid of Jungwoo. I love you so much, I love you more than anything in the world, Doyoung tries to convey with his eyes to his boyfriend.</p><p>And thus, Doyoung gives up. He stops fighting against the darkness, and lets the dizziness overcome him. He thinks he sees Jaehyun coming closer, but he’s not sure. It doesn’t matter anymore, because there’s nothing but the void around him.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>To Doyoung’s surprise, he does wake up some time later in a hospital. He’s completely confused as to how he ended here, because he had been so sure he was dead for good. The first thing he feels is relief, and the second one is numbness. He guesses he was probably injected a lot of painkillers, so at least the pain is not a worry for now.</p><p>He then thinks of Jungwoo and Jaehyun, and he hopes Jaehyun is safe and sound. He doesn’t know what he wants Jungwoo to be, but the younger man gave him such a fright yesterday – or whenever the attack took place – so he never wants to see him again.</p><p>His thoughts are cut off by someone entering the room, and his heart misses a beat as he recognizes Jaehyun. His boyfriend closes the door before coming near him with sadness painted all over his face, but there’s soon happiness and relief instead. Jaehyun rushes to his side and immediately starts crying, making Doyoung tear up too.</p><p>“Baby, oh my God Doyoung baby you’re awake,” Jaehyun all but sobs, hugging him.</p><p>“Jaehyunnie,” Doyoung croaks.</p><p>His throat feels so dry, but right now he needs to feel Jaehyun’s embrace. He’s even happy to feel his tears through the clothes the hospital gave him, because he really thought that everything was over for good.</p><p>“How come I’m here?” Doyoung asks after Jaehyun calmed down and gave him water.</p><p>They also notified a nurse that Doyoung finally woke up, and she said she’d drop by soon, leaving them time to catch up in the meantime. Jaehyun takes a deep breath, and intertwines their fingers.</p><p>“When I got out of the convenience store, I saw you run away from Jungwoo, so I immediately tried to stop him – but he managed to hit my head, so I was really dizzy for a moment. I went after him again and found you two in the park, and when I tried to come closer, that’s when he stabbed your sides. You fainted, so I made a desperate attempt at disarming him before he could hurt you more – and I succeeded.”</p><p>“And then?” Doyoung asks, biting his lower lip.</p><p>“I knocked him out for good, and I called an ambulance for you and also the police. You were losing so much blood and you were so cold, I thought you wouldn’t make it and it… it was so scary. But you did,” Jaehyun answers, wiping his eyes.</p><p>“What about Jungwoo, then?”</p><p>“Gonna be sent to jail,” Jaehyun winces, “the company is facing all the media feeding on this crazy story and I think it’s gonna a really long time before things can calm down. You’ll probably be interviewed too, since you were hurt a lot more than me.”</p><p>“Did they already interview you?” Doyoung asks, frowning.</p><p>“I talked with the company, but I managed to escape because I told them I needed to go back at the hospital. They’re gonna leave us alone a very short moment, but then it’s gonna be hell.”</p><p>Doyoung falls back on his pillows, and sighs.</p><p>“My head hurts just thinking about this,” he says, slowly, “but I’m so thankful to be alive. You know, when I thought I was dying, you were the last thing on my mind.”</p><p>Jaehyun sniffles.</p><p>“I’m so relieved you’re alive too.”</p><p>“Thank you for saving my life, Jaehyunnie,” Doyoung adds, sending a thankful look to his boyfriend.</p><p>“I love you,” Jaehyun murmurs, “I’m so sorry this happened to us.”</p><p>“I love you too,” Doyoung replies, a tender smile stretching his dry lips.</p><p>Jaehyun leans in and presses their mouths in a kiss, and Doyoung knows they’ll be fine. The nightmare has ended. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comments are always loved and cherished, so don't hesitate if you liked this story hehe thank you for reading ♡</p><p> <a href="https://twitter.com/dojaefairy">Twitter</a> | <a href="https://curiouscat.qa/dojaefairy">CuriousCat</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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